Where do I begin...I have an address! It's very weird, but it's very cool. It's a first floor apartment, with brand-new carpet...and it's mine. I get to put my things in it and I won't have to worry about anyone else, or their pooping dogs (you don't want to know). 25 days..that's it. I'm ready. Hand me the boxes and my keys, and let's do this! (Well, first, financial aid, can you send me my really large check that I'll be paying back to you and then some for a really long time? That would help tremendously.)
Emotionally, however, this is not quite my mindset. And today it's really real, for today it starts. Today is the first of my "goodbye date"s. I'm taking one of my clients that graduated from the ABA program in March (yeayy!!) to see Winnie the Pooh a) because he's one great little guy who I will, and do, miss and b) because I desperately want to see this movie! But it hit me driving home from church today...they're starting. The goodbyes, the "let's SERIOUSLY visit each other and not just talk about it", the "skype date!", the "let me know the next time you'll be in town"....you know the drill. Their lives are going on without me, and some of these lives that I'm stepping out of, for however long, I've been invested in for quite some time. My life, too, will go on and no doubtingly change just like there's will.And somehow, I have to find it within myself to be ok with this.
I knew this was coming, I did. But was I ready for it to show up at my doorstep like this? Not quite.
Jesus never changes. And today, that's what I have to cling to. That, and a tiny 3-year-old hand.
Rachel,
ReplyDeleteLet me say this as someone who was in your shoes a year ago... I remember those feelings very well and I hated all of the goodbyes. BUT, we (a group of us 2010 IPFW grads) do get together on a regular basis when we're home, and we talk on Facebook or on the phone. The adjustment to being away from home was hard at first, but it does get easier. And like you said, Jesus never changes. He's the same yesterday, today, tomorrow, and forever. He'll be there whenever you need Him.
Best of luck in this new journey of yours, and please do keep in touch!
~ Reese