Tell me how to fill the space you've left behind...how to laugh instead of cry...tell me why does following my dreams take me far away from you...how to say goodbye. -Michael W. Smith
I don't like change. And I don't like goodbyes.
I officially live ~3.5 hours from everything and everyone I've ever known. I love my apartment, and when the boxes are empty, I'll post pictures. But for now, on a daily basis (more or less) I want to jump in my car and drive north-east to familiar. To safe. To comfortable. To secure.To home.
Following Christ is none of those things...it is neither safe, nor familiar, nor comfortable. It is secure, and He is home. And where He calls I will go, because I desperately don't want to miss out on what He is doing and where He is doing it. However, tonight...tonight is one of those put on the sad music and be very present in your emotion kind of nights. For tomorrow I "turn it off" and begin grad. school...at 8am...and I become professional and strong, excited about my career and future.
I'm ready to be back into a routine, but it's hard when the people and places that you want most in that routine are not there. The girls in my department are very kind and seem friendly, and I know that soon they will become like family, but there is forever a Fort Wayne/ABA therapy/ IPFW/CSD 2011 sized hole in my heart. My apartment is flooded with pictures of the faces that fill these holes...faces that mean so much.
Will this go away? Probably, for the most part. I don't want to have to have it all completely go away, but I'm know my heart will grow to love this place...or at least the people here.
But as for now...
Well said, Michael Scott.